Hate-Anger-Gurus-The-Dark-Feminine-And-Me: A-Memoir-Rant-Raw–Type-Piece :-) Enjoy!


I hate guru-types – well – a lot of them. And this is a long raw piece, so grab a cuppa.

And no, I´m not going to beat around the bush … If the word ´hate´triggers you, then that´s your baggage to deal with.
Spirituality (as I understand it) is not about glossing over things or trying to be politically correct about them. It´s also not about trying to pretend that extremes of emotion do not exist. If it is as ok to say, intensely and passionately that I LOVE YOU – it is just as okay to say I HATE YOU.

When you can see both of those statements as equally valid, spiritual and necessary – then you begin to leave the dualistic path.  When one consistently elevates one pole of emotion to the complete absence of another – that´s when your Shadow ceases to be your friend (till you remind yourself that it was part of you all along).

But back to topic. . .
I just do not like people who abuse the privilege of knowledge and make others their supplicants. Often you see the story of the guru conflated with sexual or material excesses (a couple of Rolls Royces, sex cults with their female devotees, millions in the bank, etc.). And shit gets dodgy there.
(And if the word shit triggers you – well – I guess you´ve never used a toilet bowl)
I have no issues with a guru who is rich or successful or highly sexually active.
Only when that energy is given through the channel of predation-masked-as-glorified-dependency.
And my god … is it glorified.
Why is it almost impossible for Gurus to try to embody the Divine Masculine in ways that don´t require you to lust after them or idolize them as the Great Walking Penis?
Seriously – the Male God is not always the Lover.
Sometimes he´s the Brother, the Father, the Friend. Red flags go up for me the moment I see a teacher equate Male = Lover.  In the same way we do not want to equate Women = Baby Factory … Surely men deserve a little more range?
Why is our conception of Sacred Union ALWAYS SEX?
If anything, in my own work, I take a leaf from Bodhi Dharman and wave a big stick and make things as unvarnished as possible. And still people come. Healthy, grounded, powerfully in-tune beings. So I must be doing something right.
(Often, they get my sense of humor. That´s a bonus. FYI – Bodhi Dharman was a Pallava Prince from Kanchipuram, Tamil Nadu. According to some narratives, Bodhi Dharman brought martial arts and knowledge of herbal medicines to China – where they still revere him as Damo. I like the dude because he carried a big stick. When his students would tell him that their minds would wander and let them meditate, he would reply – come here, let me whack it for you into silence! I doubt many did …  )
Now there are gurus whom I do like and am deeply inspired by. They were the ones who never considered themselves as anything of the sort, never asked for people to come to them, never wanted or expected anything as a reward for their path. It just happened. People like Ramana Maharishi, Ramakrishna Paramhansa, Mahavatar Babaji. And I´ve been thinking about them very often in the past few weeks.
And when I look at people like that, I think to myself that that is what I would want a teacher to be. I rarely, if ever, see that in practice. And these days I wonder if that gap between teacher and student exists only to bridged. And then you end up with a group of friends or peers. They did come from a different time …
Anyways …
Earlier today, three things happened:
(1) I had to have a discussion with a friend on something which triggered me. And the truth it is I was okay being triggered. I went to a public launch of a product line I was interested in and found that the organizers had been racially pandering to one ethnic group, whilst marginalizing others. It was a foreign company and I did not expect them to know the political context here – but it was an oversight that the local team … really should not have made. That was not something I was happy with and I walked out. I took further action and made my sentiments known to those involved. And that was it. The only thing that bothered me about the conversation was how I felt that my anger was being used to somehow delegitimize my perception of a racist act. My friend eventually saw my perspective (I hope), but it took some explanation of socio-political facts and observed business practices (God… that PhD in Political Science is handy at times).
But yeah – There are simply some things that you do not stay silent on.

(And no – being triggered is not a bad thing – what you do with it is the question)

(2) I ended up hanging out with some other friends and we discussed the shadow of the path of the Guru – and how so many of them end up with issues to do with sex, money or women. Unsurprisingly, those are all Scorpionic themes (perfect for this Full Moon eh?).
We also discussed how difficult it is for those who attach to a path or teacher to actually let themselves see the truth of that person.

The moment your personal identity gets tied up in another person, product, path or paradigm – your objectivity is compromised. It´s okay to have favourites but always be open to challenging your own perceptions. Loyalty is a wonderful trait but to be meaningful it must not be blind.

Always check to see if you are coming in alignment from your Heart Center. If you find resistance to that exercise, question your vested interests. What or whom will you otherwise have to give up or release?


(3) Someone asked me about guidance on the Dark Feminine – which – is something I have been trained for (yes, trained) to address since childhood. And I immediately referred her to other teachers who would facilitate in that subject.
(I got asked what training I received and how others could receive it – to which I responded – You sign up for it before you were born and for most of your adult life wonder WHY … that tickled a few people)
But just as I was writing my response to this woman I knew the lightbulb that went off in my head. And I went – Oh Shit. I´m supposed to be teaching this stuff.
I´ve gotta make sure I do it right. Which is why I decided to not aim for pretty in this post, but for real, direct expression.  And I can make a nursery rhyme sound like a bloody dissertation. So yeah .. hope it floats your boat. And if it doesn´t, oh well…
 * * *
So all this comes together, quite appropriately with Mercury conjuncting Uranus and Eris, alongside the build-up to the Scorpio Full Moon. The theme of the Rage of the Feminine kept coming back to me and the messed-up-ways-in-which-spiritual-teachers-provide-more-reasons-for-her-to-rage . . . .
So here´s a video on that (with Ashoka  – my older bro):


A conversation on the role that anger plays in the Awakening of the Divine Feminine and questions posed as to how it is best embodied. Anger is a catalyst for change and yet, in excess, it becomes a drug in which one loses the very essence of the path they seek – it becomes a caricature of itself.

Some tough questions, some tough answers.




Rage, Love, Do Whatever the Hell You Are Called To Do From Your Heart,


3 thoughts on “Hate-Anger-Gurus-The-Dark-Feminine-And-Me: A-Memoir-Rant-Raw–Type-Piece :-) Enjoy!

  1. Deirdre L says:

    Really appreciated your ‘rawness’ in this article and love your truths! D

  2. wotzina says:

    Thank you! A really profound message with out the bull. I get it now about anger. I used to fear my anger. Now I can see the patterns, purpose & addiction trap. love you & Ash


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