When Shadow drops the Drama …


Shadow-work is often described as a roller-coaster.  There´s the intense ups-and-downs, the emotional highs-and-lows, all the ingredients that regenerate the cycle of emotional psychodrama. We call it the hero(ine)´s journey. We pedestalize it in religion, ritual, myth, movies .. it´s filtered down intensively into popular culture . We use the framework of this journey – and its dependence on shadow –  as a framing device to make sense of some of the darkest, hardest, and harshest days of our lives. And what emerges beyond it all.

I have often described shadow work as the means by which the Phoenix dies … in order to be reborn.

But what I find now, at least, in my own process – and I am sure this applies to many others riding the same wave of consciousness: is that we need to re-think the shadow and how we process it.

Shadow was what was hidden, mysterious, not properly understood, feared, secretly coveted, deeply desired (and often taboo). But we have – as a species – changed the benchmark of what shadow is. So much of what was unacceptable or unimaginable just a few years ago is now quickly becoming societal norm. Sometimes that´s progress, and sometimes that´s a nightmare. It´s been a mixed bag.

But what I do see is a rising attachment to the highs-and-lows, the psychodrama that accompanies the shadow-journey. I´ve been there myself, and one of my greatest milestones was to step away from what could have become a lifelong energetic addiction.

I found an essence of myself, something within that stared back at that engaging, heady, and ultimately predictable process of shadow-roller-coaster-psychodrama and went: BOO.

What I´ve been working on instead is understanding and experiencing a slower, stabler and … frankly more boring experience of the same work. But it feels more rewarding.

My work goes well beyond astrology and conventional prayer work and requires a subtler appreciation of forces that emerge from the earth, sky, and the many forms of consciousness that interact with it all.

Dismissing the shadow has never been an option for me in my life.  It still isn´t.

I am far less attached to the highs and lows of the process. A certain emotional … shall we call it equanimity has emerged. Some might call it detachment.

What would have once triggered or hurt me has far less influence. And even when it does, the fear of pain or trauma no longer takes over my responses to the world. It´s certainly been a process I´ve been refining for the past few years. And in so doing, transforming myself.

Shadow-work when you are no longer addicted to the drama of it all is a whole other journey.  Things take time … you wait, watch and remain centered through the dark night. And when the abyss looks back at you, you acknowledge it with a nod and move on.

The lack of movement, intensity, drama or the need to experience, understand or interpret it all can be terrifying. Especially to a woman with Saturn-in-Sagittarius 😉 But it´s a very different space. It´s certainly changed the way I see people, and my work with them (and this Cosmos).

I wouldn´t call this experience as the Void, or No-Space. But the reminder that the best things take time. Waiting is an effort, being able to be still within and to be comfortable in that uncertain (seeming) stillness is an art form.

To be patient. To not need to know or solve things at the click of a button. To not seek or desire instantaneous transformation (it tends to come when you least expect it). To not need the answers. To not romanticize anything or claim to own, perfect, or fully understand any of it.

To not measure my successes – or identify my essence – by how many dragons I´ve slayed, maidens (including myself) I´ve rescued,  deaths I´ve ´lived´through, and so on… Or the many processes I´ve experienced.

To just be. And know that it is enough. And to live that truth each and every single day.

To show up to all that presents itself with that same understanding and sense of being.

So that´s where I am right now. And I expect the journey to continue evolving in its own phases, times and seasons.

The curtain has dropped… there´s isn´t a big sparkly reveal. Or a monster I need to slash or tame.

Just me – and Time – and Space. And lots and lots of Possibility.

Good enough.

Blessings to All.

Dr. Bairavee Balasubramaniam PhD
The Sky Priestess

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Post © Bairavee Balasubramaniam, 2018. All rights reserved.

Image: Pixabay.com, public domain image.






17 thoughts on “When Shadow drops the Drama …

  1. Mary says:

    Loving this post. It is the essence of Buddhist philosophy in a nut shell….thank you for the work you do in the world.

  2. carey harben says:

    I seriously Thank you! Deep Bow to you! For always sharing so much Wisdom You are right on Perfect timing! Brilliant Psychic Astro guidess! 🙏🏿💗🌎🌲❄️💕

    Sent from my iPhone


  3. Sophia says:

    Thank you for describing so well the place I have also reached and am experiencing. I feel that the earth element energy is supporting this. A sense of being in my self more and greater trust in self, boundaries have been created – self-integrity. I like it, and looking forward to experiencing the world from this place. My note to self (!) is to be aware each day of the lure of negativity and drama and to make a conscious choice to stay within this greater sense of wholeness, rather than becoming fragmented by fear. To consciously move towards love. It takes strength and discipline. Appreciate your work!

  4. AggieDamron says:

    Amen little sister! aggie damron santa fe, new mexico

    Sent from my iPad


  5. @TheEmilyCapps says:

    Love it! Thanks for this. Perfect, perfect timing.



  6. Casey says:

    First off, I Love your articles!!

    Just a thought …IF at all possible:
    Is there a quick way you could direct us “out there” to IDENTIFY the Shadow work within, as in WHERE we can look to find/see (however it should be worded) the Shadow Work that is underlying – perhaps just starting with only using our own natal birth chart…
    I understand our Shadow side and the work needed BUT for me personally, I want to logically and analytically pin point what this IS for me with utilizing the birth chart as a tool for this, for me personally speaking, the birth chart seems the most most appropriate starting point….
    Any thoughts or advice you could provide would be of the utmost help and more than appreciated!!
    With Much Love and Respect!
    Thank you!

  7. Casey says:

    Just to clarify my above… My thoughts are this: To identify IT is to recognize IT and within doing so comes Understanding OF It … When you Understand something, you can Acknowledge It, Enabling yourself to be better equipped during times where you see the Triggers and can ground yourself in such a way that allows you to handle yourself and the situation accurately, accordingly and with full consciousness, without letting the emotions of the “inner shadow side” to override and take the control.
    I HOPE this all makes sense allowing for what I’m saying/thinking to translate my question correctly!!

  8. Maximilian Juno says:

    Wow. Perfectly extracting my feelings, understandings and states that, like you already expected, I (amongst many others I feel) also went through as of late.
    It’s really, deeply changing internally how we relate to the world and ourselves and thus, this journey that is this unmoving wave, this infinite flowering.
    I am so happy to surf with you!

    Thank you for all your enlightening articles!!

    (Oh, and if you have any insight on the sun venus Pluto conjunction almost exactly on my ascendent today (18,19′) I’d be so very grateful!!)

    Much love

    1. Dr. Bairavee Balasubramaniam PhD says:

      Most welcome x I would the alignment is a little too general for me to comment on in any great depth. Except that is it a time of renewal for the way you see yourself and being <3

  9. Sharon Hinckley says:

    Yes yes yes ❗️Could it be that the addiction to the drama is the Shadow ❓or a major Portion of it❓

    Unless you are in the middle of a train track & there is an oncoming 🚊 Simply breathing, slowing down, breathing….almost always allows the remedy to reveal itself …

    Patience actually is a virtue. Who knew❓

    Patience + appropriate action = miracle

    Sent from my iPhone


  10. Gigi says:

    Profound. Nodded my head through much of this. Saturn in Sadge R myself, and I think I’ve done enough experiences for a long time. Still open to learning, yet not questioning as much (age does this) and this:

    ”And when the abyss looks back at you, you acknowledge it with a nod and move on.”

    OH, YES! Nod and move ON. Thank you for the wisdom.

  11. Brenda Jax says:

    Hello Blairavee, I hope u r enjoying ur journey here in the states. I have enjoyed each and every email u have written and sent but I have to tell u this was my favorite. As u already know I too am working with my shadow side through therapy and hard work. I don’t have the money to go sit by the water and just be. That always reconnects me to Self. Plus we have had such cold weather I probably wouldn’t go if I could! Haha Thank u again for ur words and wisdom! Much love to u… Brenda

    Sent from my iPad


  12. Pauline says:

    Its strange i feel the same ..i am aware of all this drama , things i dont like or that i want to control and i just look at it and wait were it goes and if i become involved ..this time if i become involved it is by being asked to not me trying to organise it ..i just look step back and what happens happens . I pray ..try to know if it is to do with me ..do my best to do do my best …thats all i can do .I hope i can continue to do my best and to know if my ego and desire to control doesnt get the better of me . Thanks for yr insights .


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