I had the chance to look through some old photographs today as an artist asked me for photos of my little girl. She made a sweet video addressed to her at my suggestion, requesting the privilege of painting her, and she assented. It was hard for her to sit still, but she purred and tried as only a little fur-baby could. She understands people and will walk if she doesn’t like your vibe – I learn a lot from her each day.
So I went through thousands of photographs, being confronted with the many difficulties, heartbreaks, and separations that I’ve seen in the past three years alone. I honestly don’t recognize myself and am unsurprised to see people who have known me for years no longer relate. It’s just been a total transformation of self-hood and, with it, an entirely different relationship with health, spirituality, and understanding.
I don’t regret any of my choices. I thought there would be guilt or remorse for choosing myself and my child’s happiness – and Nah. Just relief. It feels like the past few years have been about completing key karmic journeys and relationships for me, and the slate is being cleared for something new. Or maybe it’s just to be. We will see.
In that time, I’ve learnt so much about healing, especially through TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine) and other methods of spiritual clearing. I don’t talk about it often as there’s just so much information available and very little means of making sure people get it and don’t abuse it. It’s all out there, and you need to put the pieces together. And that is something I’m good at – researching and connecting the dots.
Astrology was the way into the holistic and metaphysical world for me alongside my efforts to explore the spiritual and cultural roots of the tradition I thought I was supposed to follow. I looked deeply into both and found the same old control matrix at play (and I remember writing about this in late 2016). Politically, I see so much of the same energetic dysfunction affecting societies and communities at play at the individual level. And it honestly feels like the same old ways of addressing energetic dysfunction and going back to these old models of connecting with Spirit is akin to washing your clothes in dirty water.
So much of what I thought was the way to find greater justice, peace, healing, and harmony in myself and the world – now – seems short-sighted. Sure, astrology is profoundly helpful in providing critical insight, but that’s not what transforms people. Sure, spiritual facilitation can lift immense blockages, but again, that’s not what transforms people.
What transforms a person is right here in the everyday.
Sometimes you need the external tools and perspectives to help you figure out how to get there – how to be absolutely present with your environment, know if there’s a situation you need help with, and see where you are sabotaging yourself (or if another is).
And what helps in transformation is belief, compassion, empathy, and connection. More often than not, this is what my clients come back to tell me. Whilst stern when required, I care about my clients, and they know I do.
I remember so many of them, even if it’s been years since they booked a reading. And I see the changes they’ve made in their lives because they were willing to let themselves be seen and to take that leap of faith in their own capabilities.
I talk about this and more in the video. This started as the post, and then I decided to do a live on it.
Dr Bairavee The Sky Priestess
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